27 febrero 2012

5 Things You Should Know

1. Money cannot buy happiness but…somehow, it’s more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes Benz than it is on a bicycle.

2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the bastard’s name.

3. Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.

4. Many people are alive only because it is illegal to shoot them.

5. Alcohol does not solve any problem, but then neither does milk.

36 Undeniable Life Truths

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. Don’t worry about what people think, they don’t do it very often.
3. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.
6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
8. A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
16. A balanced diet is a muffin in each hand.
17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
19. Junk is something you’ve kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
24. Someone who thinks logically provides nice contrast to the real world.
25. It ain’t the jeans that make your butt look fat.
26. If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved it’s full potential, that word would be “meetings.”
27. There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.”
28. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
29. You should not confuse your career with your life.
30. Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.
31. Never lick a steak knife.
32. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
33. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
34. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
35. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that deep down inside we ALL believe we are good drivers.

In soviet russia


PUTOS POLICIAS GRINGOS......SON UNOS HPS........LE PONEN A LA GENTE POBRE CARNADAS PARA QUE ROBEN, DESPUES LOS ARRESTAN DE LA MANERA MAS HUMILLANTE Y COMO SI NO FUERA SUFICIENTE LO GRABAN Y LO PONEN EN UN PUTO CANAL LLAMADO TRUE.TV.........EN VERDAD QUE ESOS JODIDOS GRINGOS SON TAN MARIKAS QUE NO SE DAN CUENTA QUE LOS PUTOS POLICIAS YA SON ACTORES DE REALITY Y LO UNIKO QUE LES IMPORTA ES ARRESTAR GENTE CON BAJOS INGRESOS Y CON PROBLEMAS DE DROGADICCION.......VALLA Q TENGAN Q ARRESTAR A LOS VERDADEROS LADRONES........

PUTA POLICIA DE LA USA LOS ODIO CON TODO MI CORAZON

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<a href='http://video.latam.msn.com/?mkt=es-xl&vid=d6b0628c-3940-41c9-a7a2-e4db3dc83260&from=&src=v5:embed::' target='_new' title='Choca contra patrulla de policía' >Video: Choca contra patrulla de policía</a>

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